THE DOLDRUMS

I’m a bit under the weather today. Not sick, exactly—just slight chills and dizziness and, mostly, a feeling of lethargy.

If I worked for someone else, I couldn’t quite justify taking the day off. As a writer-at-home, I was so looking forward to picking up drafting on my novel, set aside during a recent family vacation. But now I find myself with so much to do and no will to do it, leaving me discontent—as though my day is wasted while it’s only early afternoon, as though I’ve lost confidence in my life vocation that usually keeps me motivated and productive.

I’ve been reading today; it helps me justify my down time. This morning I cracked open a book about the afterlife, started in on my first volume of a new subscription to an academic literary journal, and wiled away some time on the ’Net.

My surfing led me to a lovely post by a blogger who advised that, though:

“The world is broken and we are subject to fear, discouragement and loss of confidence,”

I need only (in the words of Oswald Chambers) to:

“Never let the sense of past failure defeat [my] next step [but instead] . . . Get up, and do the next thing.”

So I think I will be good to myself and (in this order):

• Listen to my body whispering that all is not quite right, and so take a nap, and then
• Listen to my sister, who sagaciously messaged me this morning after I’d complained to her, recommending I take joy, and then
• Listen to my soul that longs to create something worthy, take up my pen (aka, my laptop), and get back to drafting.